


Come Back To Me

by wintersxsoul



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hydra (Marvel), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Torture, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mythology References, Orpheus and Eurydice, Protective Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 05:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18131291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersxsoul/pseuds/wintersxsoul
Summary: Inspired in the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, different ending tho.





	Come Back To Me

Before you, all Bucky Barnes knew was darkness, pain, a hollow chest with a broken beating heart. You appeared like flowers bloom in Spring, taking away the remnants of Winter, giving color and life to a grey world. He thought it would be impossible for someone like him to even talk to someone like you, but as always, fate had its own plans. 

There were a few Hydra bases left but The Avengers needed help to locate them since the only clue they had was written in Ancient Greek. Natasha knew Latin but after a few days trying to translate, they knew they would need a professional. 

That’s how you ended up in a meeting room with The Avengers. You were one of the best translators in the world, you knew more than 15 languages, written and spoken, you had four Ph.D. in History, Mythology, Literature and Art. After a few months working for them they eliminated almost all Hydra bases. You had to leave New York to do a Mythology seminar in London for two weeks, so you forgot about everything about the team and focused on your work. 

In the four months you stayed with The Avengers, Bucky Barnes struggled with his feelings towards you because he had fallen in love hard and fast, so when he heard that you would be gone, his heart shattered. You both were oblivious to the feelings you had for the other, making it a bit harder for you two to communicate.

_ “Steve, I can’t go. I just can’t.” Bucky told his best friend, who just assigned him to go on a little trip to London. Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  _

_ “Listen, Buck. You are the only one on the team available, so I’m sorry, but it’s vital for you to go.” _

So that’s how  _ he _ ended up in one of your conferences, sitting at the back of the room, taking in all the information you were throwing at the audience. The passion and professionalism with which you spoke had his heart beating rapidly on his chest. Your whole face lit up when you saw his large figure and his blue eyes watching you, your knees almost failing you when you paced around the stage. You paused the talk for a 10 minute break and honestly, to gather yourself. Bucky almost ran down the stairs to meet you, engulfing you in a tight hug, his scent filling all your senses.

“Not that I am not happy to see you but, what are you doing here?” You tilted your head and placed a strand of hair behind your ear nervously. He smiled sweetly and explained that they needed you once more for a top secret mission he didn’t even know about.

“As much as I would love to help, I have to attend two more conferences in the following days, so I can’t go today.”

“Uhm, I...I checked your schedule and informed the team. So I’ll be staying around until you are done, if that’s okay.” You really tried not to show any kind of excitement but failed miserably. Your heart fluttered at the thought of Bucky attending your talks and after decades doing this, you felt nervous.

 

Bucky thought it was impossible to fall in love with you even more, but he was wrong. You started explaining the myth of Eros and Psyche, your eyes never leaving his. If your Oratory teacher saw you right now, she would be kicking you for being so unprofessional, but you really couldn’t care less.

 

_ The myth of Eros and Psyche is probably one of the best love stories in classical mythology. Eros, son of Aphrodite, was the personification of intense love desire and he was depicted throwing arrows to people in order to hit their heart and make them fall in love. Psyche, a beautiful maiden, personifies the human soul. In fact, she is the symbol of the soul purified by passions and misfortunes and who is, from now on, prepared to enjoy eternal happiness. In the love story of Eros (Cupid in Latin) and Psyche (meaning "soul" in Greek), we can see the perseverance of a man even when he is possessed by passion and the effort of a woman to overcome many obstacles in order to achieve the happiness of love. _

 

Bucky’s eyes gleamed under the dim light of the room, and you accidentally smiled at him. He moved to the front rows so he could be closer to you, so know the whole audience knew you were probably ignoring them and just spoke to that single person you were smiling to.

When you finished explaining the whole myth, you saw a few hands rising to ask questions, and you felt pride bubble in your chest because that meant they were interested and not bored to death.

“So how did Psyche lived forever?” 

“Well, Zeus decided to give her the Ambrosia, the food of the gods, so she could be immortal.”

After answering a few more questions, you saw a shy gloved hand and you shivered, not expecting him to participate at all.

“I would like to ask what this myth actually represents and what it means to you, ma’am.” Your shaky hands grabbed the glass of water that sat on the small table and drank a bit to ease your nerves. You cleared your throat and smiled.

“The interpretation I gave was the true connection of the soul and love. Eros and Psyche are the proof that everyone has a soul and is capable of love, even the darkest soul.”

Everyone started clapping when you finished, your smile only growing wider when Bucky looked at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

-

“You can’t tell me what this secret mission is about?” You heard Bucky sigh loudly when you approached the table he was sitting at, waiting for you. He had asked you out to have dinner and since you were staying at the same hotel, you thought it would be a good idea. 

“Okay, punk. Whatever, I gotta go.” He hung up and smiled at you, his eyes roaming your figure. You were wearing your favorite dress, the soft golden silk hugging your curves amazingly. You sat rapidly, tripping on the chair and almost falling. You giggled nervously and Bucky just smiled at you, his nerves eating him alive.

“Is the dress too much?” Bucky shook his head rapidly and cleared his throat, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“No, you look beautiful.” You smiled shyly and he added “I mean, you always look beautiful, but now...there are no words to describe how you look.” 

You spent the whole evening exchanging information about the other, asking questions back and forth. He asked about your childhood, the pressure of being a prodigy child and being the daughter of a genius, the lack of a normal teenage life since you entered college at 13, the disastrous first and only relationship and travelling around the world alone. Bucky shared the bits he remembered of his childhood, his academic records, war and his time being the Winter Soldier. You, of course, were dying to interview him for professional purposes since you were currently working on a book about the ending of WW2 and the Cold War. 

At the end of the night, he kissed you at the door of your room and before he could turn to leave, you pushed him in your room, kissing him like it was your last day on this world.

He caressed your naked skin slowly, taking his time exploring every inch of your body, kissing and worshipping you like the goddess he believed you were. You kissed him as adoringly in return, running your hands all over body, feeling every muscle and scar, loving every inch of what Bucky Barnes was. 

You were stroking his hair softly, his head pressed on your chest, your heartbeat soothing all his doubts and in a moment of pure bliss and realization, he said those three words.

“I adore you.” Your fingers froze and your breath hitched, a deep warmth spreading all over you.

“Y/n?” You realized you’d been silent for far too long so his heart started beating rapidly, the thought of you rejecting him starting to cloud his mind.

“I love you.” You said softly and he turned to face you, his expression full of love and adoration just for you. He kissed you and made love to you again, the feeling of your bodies together was like a drug to him and you were more than happy to give it to him, surrendering completely to him and him to you.

When you both got back to New York, Bucky discovered that there was no mission. Steve plotted with the whole team for you two to stop with your mutual pining and realize your feelings, his smug face pissing Bucky off.

“I told you a long ago to tell her, Barnes.” Nat added, rolling her eyes and elbowing him jokingly. You just smiled at your friends and thanked them, because without them none of that would’ve happened.

 

-

 

Everything was dark and cold, the thick leather straps that held your body tight to the metal chair making your skin raw. Your head was spinning, the immense pain you were feeling was blocking all the physical pain your wounds were causing. What did they do to you?

You were unconscious most of the time, but you knew they were doing something, changing something in your body, in your mind. Your loud screams numbed all the voices surrounding you but you still caught glimpses of conversations in Russian.

“He will come to get her, our mole knows how much she means to the Soldat.”

“It’s been a week already, and we haven’t heard nothing. What if she is the wrong woman?”

“It can’t be, I saw them together while following the Asset, it’s her.”

You tried to move or speak, but all it came out of your mouth was a low whine. You tried to open your eyes, your heavy lids making it hard. Everything hurt, stung, your skin felt like it had been burnt over and over again.

“Is she ready?” A thick voice asked loudly and you felt deeply terrified. Ready for what? What have they done to you? 

“Well, unstrap her and prep her, he won’t take much longer.” You wanted to scream, to run, to try to fight your way out, but you couldn’t move.

 

“Tony, we need to find Y/N. Bucky is going insane and I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold him back much longer.” Steve found your location that exact morning, after a week of your disappearance. Apparently, you were in one of Hydra’s last bases in Siberia, one that was unknown for everyone, even for Bucky. Tony just nodded and looked at the files. 

“Gear up, we’re getting our girl back.”

But it was too late, Bucky hacked the database, something Tony would be pissed off about, and got the location before Steve could even talk to him. He knew it was reckless to leave on his own, but he just couldn’t wait any longer to get you, to save you from Hydra’s claws. 

Bucky Barnes was himself, but he also was the Winter Soldier, all that violence and cold blood was in him still, would always be. He was ready to enter hell for you, even if that meant never getting back home. 

 

_ The morning light was bathing his room, hitting your skin and making it glow. You were smiling at him tiredly, your eyes full of adoration for him. Bucky leaned in to press his forehead to yours, chuckling lightly when you licked the tip of his nose. He narrowed his eyes jokingly and you started squealing when he pressed his hands in the most ticklish spots on your body.  _

_ Breathlessly, you sat down, still laughing and managed to speak.  _

_ “I hate you.” You pressed your hand to your belly trying to ease your laughter. Bucky tilted his head, a huge grin plastered on his face. _

_ “You know, you were never a good liar.” You pressed your hand to your chest and looked at him, fakingly offended. He shook his head chuckling and kissed you, pressing your body to the mattress.  _

 

You jolted awake, drenched in sweat and dust, the memory making your whole body tremble, silent tears streaming down your face. You scanned the room you were at, and realized you weren’t strapped to that metal chair. Everything was awfully quiet and there was no one around. You stood up but your legs failed you, making you hit the stone cold floor, scraping your knees and palms. You reached for the makeshift bed and help yourself to stand up and once you gathered enough strength to walk, you got out of the room you were at. 

 

Bucky was beating the last Hydra agent alive, trying to get any kind of information out of him. He laughed maniacally and spit blood to the floor. 

“Hydra needed someone like her, but she was too damn stubborn to cooperate. So we fixed her.” A metal fist hit his stomach, probably breaking some organ. The agent coughed blood but kept talking. 

“If we can’t have either of you, you won’t either.” Bucky could feel his bile rising at the thought of what you’d suffered while he was failing at rescuing you earlier. 

“What did you do to her?” The agent smiled, clearly in pain. 

“Nothing that cannot be reversed. All we need is for you to control yourself, to be compliant.” Bucky pressed his metal hand in his neck and squeezed hard enough to hurt him but not to kill him. Not yet. He pressed his body to the closest wall and held the agent against it. 

“Tell me what you did to her.” Bucky muttered, the blinding rage surging throughout all his pores. 

“You remember your shut down word, soldat?” Sputnik. That was the word they used when they needed to shut him down before cryo. Bucky nodded and squeezed a little tighter. 

“Well, we implanted that on her, but the effects being worse.” Bucky’s eyes widened, knowing the way to implant something like that deep in your mind. 

Before Bucky could say something, the agent spoke again. 

“We thought it was too cruel even for us, so you have 24 hours to keep her safe forever. But if you say the trigger words before the time’s up, she will be gone for good.” He smirked wickedly and Bucky squeezed harder, until he heard the neck break. 

24 hours. He had 24 hours left. 

 

_ “Come on, say it.” Bucky shook his head, too afraid to say those three meaningful words. You smiled at him but deep down it hurt you, it hurt that he couldn’t say them.  _

_ “You know I do, why do you need to hear me say it?” _

_ “Because it becomes real for me.”  _

_ “I can’t say them, not yet.” Bucky’s expression fell but you just shrugged and added a “whatever” with a smile, trying to convince him that you were fine with it. _

_ “Whenever you are ready, I will be here waiting for you to say it.” You kissed him, smiling into the kiss, feeling his tears mixing with your lips.  _

 

You heard screams and a familiar voice, so you ran like hell, your body working on its own, your mind racing with thoughts of you and Bucky. You were close to him, you could feel it in your bones, and when you entered the training room, there he was. 

Bucky’s eyes widened, taking you in. You were okay. He sighed relieved and moved towards you while you did the same, meeting him in the middle. You gasped when your arms finally touched his body, the sensation of finally being safe and home wrapping you. He pressed his lips to yours in a chaste kiss, needing to check it was really you. 

He held your hand and lead you to the Quinjet, you were finally going home. 

“Buck?” Your mouth suddenly let out, and you frowned because you had nothing to say. He hummed, waiting for you to continue. 

“I love you.” You started to cry uncontrollably, the sobbs getting louder and louder. Bucky pressed the autopilot button and moved to where you were, kneeling in front of you. He placed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you sweetly, all his worries finally leaving him. You were safe, nothing had happened. It was all probably a bluff. 

“I adore you.” He told you and you frowned again, because you felt like something was controlling you, was controlling your thoughts and words. 

“Say it. I need you to say it, please.” You begged him, crying. He loved you, he had always known that, but he needed time to admit that to himself before being able to tell you. After everything that happened, he knew he was ready, and seeing you so heartbroken made him brave. 

“I love you, Y/n.” He pressed his hand to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Something inside you clicked, and you smiled at him. You leaned in to kiss him, the tears already gone. 

“I love you, Buck. I love you.” You laid down on the seats and closed your eyes, sighing contently. He finally said it.

“I’m very tired, please wake me when we arrive.” You opened an eye to look at him and after him nodding and kissing your temple, you closed your eyes, the tiredness taking over your body. 

As soon as Bucky landed the jet, he glanced at your sleeping form and smiled, you were finally home and safe. Everyone was waiting for you to arrive at the hangar, impatiently and some of them even pissed. Bucky made a reckless move that could’ve endangered the two of you, but he knew he would succeed, just for the sake of your safety. 

Bucky kneeled in front of you and stroked your head lightly, whispering softly for you to wake up, but when you didn’t even move, he started freaking out. 

 

_ “We gave to subject Z10 strong doses of Apomorphine enough to kill a healthy adult, electroshock therapy for hours and we’ve succeeded to implant trigger words, stronger than the ones implanted in our first subject, The Winter Soldier. _

_ Subject Z10 will be compromised as soon as the trigger words reach her hippocampus, blocking the NEK7 protein, forgetting all that is strongly attached to said words. Subject will never be able to recover those memories, but effects can be reversed if there’s no usage of the words implanted in the following 24 hours.” _

 

“Y/n?” You slowly opened your eyes and Bucky sighed relieved but as soon as he saw your eyes, he gasped. You frowned and sat up fastly, looking frantically around you. 

“Who...who are you? What am I doing here?” You cried out, confused and scared. The man in front of you retreated fastly and you could see he had a metal arm. You shivered, frightened. 

“Y/n, it’s me, Buck.” He said with a deep sorrow, his eyes shining with unshed tears. You snapped your head towards the door of the jet you were at, two new faces approaching you. The man was bulky and tall, blond hair and blue eyes. The woman was small but seemed strong, a redhead with fierce green eyes. They both looked familiar but you couldn’t place them. 

“Buck, what’s going on?” The tall guy asked, stepping in front of Bucky so you couldn’t see him. 

“Steve, She...I- I was warned but I still used the trigger words.” Bucky cried, his knees giving up, making him fall to the floor, his body collapsing to the wall. Steve kneeled and hugged Bucky, holding his head to his chest. 

“Y/n, my name is Natasha. I’ll take you to our medical bay so they can run some tests, okay?” You looked at your body and you could see a few ugly bruises and you immediately looked at the man with the metal arm. Natasha shook her head, already knowing what you were thinking. 

“He would never lay a hand on you, he saved you from who did that to you.” You nodded and followed her out and into the huge building. 

 

_ “Buck, if you had to choose, would you prefer to lose your memory and not being able to remember me, or me dying but keeping all of our memories?” You smiled when you saw Bucky’s eyes widening, a deep frown seated on his forehead.  _

_ “I cannot choose, both of them are the worst things that could happen to me.” You giggled and held his hand, caressing his knuckles with your thumb.  _

_ “I know, but if you had to, what would you choose?”  _

_ “Forgetting you. Life has its funny ways so maybe we could find each other again. And you?” You frowned now and placed your head on his shoulder, his scent reaching your senses.  _

_ “I had my ideas clear, but after your reasoning, I don’t know.” Bucky chuckled, his whole body vibrating, making you laugh as well.  _

_ “You would prefer for me to die but remembering me, right?” You nodded, embarrassed because you didn’t reason as he did. He bumped his nose with yours and smiled, his lips brushing yours lightly, waiting for you to kiss him.  _

 

It had been weeks since you left after Shuri ran those tests. She was able to recover your memories of the team, but Bucky was totally erased from your mind. You knew who he was, but because he was Steve’s best friend and the ex-assassin, The Winter Soldier. You were a bit shaken off after you said your goodbyes, but Bucky was totally devastated. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” A sob escaped his trembling lips, hot tears running down his cheeks. His eyes looked dead, all the light that Bucky used to be, gone. “I hope we...I hope we can find eachother again.” You frowned, not understanding what he meant, but when you felt your cheeks wet, you realized something was off, but you couldn’t place it. 

“This was never meant to happen, I should’ve died. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what he meant at all, but your heart was aching, the man in front of you was grieving and all you could do was frown, not remembering him at all. You approached his trembling figure and hugged him, trying to bring comfort, a basic human touch. 

“Thank you for saving me, James.” And like that, you left, taking with you Bucky’s heart and soul. 

“May we meet again.” He whispered, hopelessly. 


End file.
